Do I Remember?

I know, I know....It's been awhile.  Since before Christmas to be exact.  But life has been happening at our house.  I've had several post ideas come up and then the time to sit down and write them passes.  But last week something came up that I just can't shake and I thought maybe writing about it might help.

Last Thursday Charlie was at Mayo Clinic for an EEG.  Wait...back up the train!  I suppose you need a little back story?  Why on Earth was Charlie having an EEG??  Mid January Charlie started Special Ed Pre-school.  He goes 4 days a week, 2 hours a day (by the way, he absolutely LOVES school).  Since starting school his teachers had been noticing he'd have starring spells every day.  Knowing this could be a sign of Absence Seizures they contacted us and requested we get this checked out.  Charlie's Pediatric Neurologist agreed it would be a good idea to rule out anything serious.  Enter the EEG.

During the EEG the tech performing the procedure was asking a bunch of questions about Charlie's background.  One of the first questions was "was he full term?"  I responded "no, he was a preemie" and maybe should have offered right away at what gestation he was born.  Because next she asked "do you remember how many weeks you were when you delivered?"

Do I remember? Do I remember?!?  And the only thought that was going through my head was "honey, if only you knew what I remember of those days!"  But instead I kindly replied "yes, 27 weeks and 0 days."  Now I know the tech meant no harm, no disrespect.  But her question really resonated with me and along with that came back so many memories, so many emotions flooding back it was overwhelming.  The rest of the day was a tough one battling with these strong emotions that I hadn't dealt with in awhile.

Do I remember the day, a Saturday, when I went in to be checked because something just didn't feel right and then being admitted to hospital bedrest?  Yes.  Do I remember February 15th, 2012 when my sister came to visit me and my contractions started to become regular?  Yes.  Do I remember how scared I was when the doctor said I'd be having these boys within the hour?  For sure.  Do I remember the epidural, the c-section, everything the doctors and nurses were talking about, asking me, Tyler by my side, holding my hand as my steadfast support?  Yes.

Do I remember each boy crying as they were born? Absolutely yes!  Do I remember not being able to see them (except by camera) until hours after birth and then not holding them until days after birth? You bet.  Do I remember the doctors asking if I'd be willing to be transferred to St. Mary's for recovery since  Methodist was so crazy busy that night? Yes.  Do I remember the painful ambulance ride down the road to St. Mary's? Yep.  And do I remember being able to go straight to the NICU so I could see the boys settled in-even after all of that and at 2am? Certainly.  And I remember the next 87 days in the NICU and the emotional roller coaster I was on the entire time.  I remember.

The boys just celebrated their 3rd birthday.  3!  You would think that after 3 years things would be fine.  Better.  And they are. They're great actually!  But I guess I need to remind myself that these emotions can creep up at any time.  No matter how long it's been.

They're truly beautiful aren't they?!